Wash up! Mamas fixin a pot of her world-famous greens, and theres nothing like a big mess of em to get you strong for fucking.
1. Mmmm-mmmm, drip a little pepper vinegar over the top and have at em. Youll feel mighty as an ox and twice as bothered, with enough fire in your britches to fuck your way through the phonebook.
2. Cooked low and slow with ham hocks and neck bones, Mamas greens have that goodness that makes your muscles pop and your pecker holler. One bite and youll be horn-doggin six ways from Sunday. Youll go cross-eyed with carnal madness, misters and missuses alike.
3. Yessir, Mamas greens are the best greens this side of the Mississippi. Theyll make your lady bits flap like a jaybird til theyre drowned. Or theyll fill your craw with so much mojo that you can slam your cock through a levee wall, if youve got a mind to. Mama reckons its all the vitamin K that does you in below the belt, but you know what it really is? That great taste.
4. These greens have been a family tradition for six generations, served hot with gizzards every Sunday after church. They make you giant with strength and fill you up with so much cum that your eyelids go sticky. Swear on Daddys grave, your eyes go sticky with cum. And, boy, are the ejaculations ever forceful! Strip the paint right off the wall! Honest to God, one helping of these greens and youll squirt enough of your cane sugar to sweeten every tea pitcher in the county.
5. See to it that you get some cornbread to sop up all the pot likker, because thats where the magics at. A little bit of Mamas pot likker will have your crotch muffin howling like a hound dog shittin a peach pit. Youll feel your loins get so hot with gumption that you wont be able to hold out til the peach cobbler. Youll fuck til youre laid up and raw with nether bits that look like yesterdays chitlins. Thats just what good greensll do to you. And lemme tell ya, nobody makes greens like Mama does.
Read more: http://www.clickhole.com/article/5-heaping-dollops-mamas-famous-greens-make-you-str-4596
Three stories high, bright orange, and missing. Mango my God.
1. Updated 1:22PM AEDT: Big Mango disappearance revealed to be a publicity stunt set up by Nando’s.
Video available at: http://youtube.com/watch?v=5Lf42JuPKyQ.
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4. The town of Bowen in Queensland, Australia, is apparently missing its largest mango effigy.
margaret river wine @winebybrad Follow
Perhaps @sorrentoseal stole the Bowen mango?
8. Or what’s happened to it.
Hayden Mack @haydenmack Follow
Hello publicity stunt. RT @pourmecoffee: 7-tonne, 10-metre high mango stolen http://t.co/DkxJkxi0P9
15. And some people are just blaming The Wiggles.
Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/bradesposito/a-seven-tonne-mango-has-gone-missing-in-australia