As betches and queens of passive aggression and fake emotion, a lot of times when we say something others find it hard to really understand what we mean. I thought it was time to start a Betch Dictionary for those hard to understand words and cryptic text messages we send to the mentally inept around the globe. Here are the top 25:
1. It’s fine
Definition: It's so far from okay and I'm not over it but I am indeed over this conversation.
2. I don’t care
Definition: I obviously do care and if you don't realize that soon I will unfollow you on every platform of social media.
Definition: Sounds good!
Definition: Fuck You.
8. If you want
Definition: I don't want you to but if you insist, whatever
9. That’s craaaazy
Definition: I didn't hear anything you said.
Definition: Someone who thinks they look like Rihanna because they bought a graphic tee and a high waisted denim diaper from Forever 21. They are never discrete about doing coke and will fuck any guy who is a 5 out of 10 and above.
Definition: Someone with sophistication and effortless style who knows how to correctly pronounce Yves Saint Laurent.
Definition: A totally vanilla girl that you can't even hate because she's so boring, you just can't associate yourself with her. The only reason she goes to Nordstrom is to shop the sale in the BP section and she wears Victoria's Secret Pink “yoga pants.”
Definition: I'm unphased but I'm pretending I care.
Definition: I'm freaking out.
15. I literally can’t
Definition: I just absolutely cannot deal with this right now whether it is the humidity on my newly straightened hair or seeing an ex on instagram with a frenemy of mine.
Definition: I didn't laugh, I didn't even smile.
Definition: I smiled.
Definition: I'm actually laughing.
Definition: Secretly We Are Gay
Definition: Someone with an iPhone 4.
Definition: Someone that gives off bad vibes and does more than 3 drugs on a week night.
Definition: Not just applied to guys who wear hoodies in the club but girls as well who seem like they're talking shit behind our back. I mean obviously I talk shit but I don't lie about it and change my personality depending on who I'm talking to.
23. I have nothing to wear
24. She’s Ano
Definition: I'm totally jealous of her body and ability to stop herself from eating.
Definition: My partner in crime, my bad betch ride or die, the one girl I can actually stand and whose good side is the opposite of mine so we take the best photos together.