Too much? Not enough, we say. Not nearly enough.
1. Because it’s raining.
We’ll just pop in the Red Lion ‘til it stops, eh?
2. Because it’s my round.
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Well, yes, it has stopped raining. But now I owe John a drink. And Jamie. And Sophie. Better get some crisps.
3. Because it’s raining in my house.
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After eight weeks of this shit, a cup of tea’s not going to cut it.
4. Because of reigning.
One is going to need a f***ing big Dubonnet after this.
5. Because it’s sunny.
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Pimms! Rosé! Cider with ice in it! Quick, before it goes in again! Quiiick!!!
6. Because it’s Monday.
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Oh god, not this again. If I can just make it to gin and tonic o’clock…
7. Because it’s Wednesday.
This is not getting easier. Some sort of natural resolve-stiffener is required.
8. Because it’s Friday lunchtime.
There’s a meeting in the diary. Where shall we do it?
Well OK, but we’ll have to be back by 2pm…
9. Because it’s Friday afternoon.
OK it’s 3.45, there’s not much point going back now. Call the boss? Don’t bother, he’s up the Dog & Duck.
10. Because it’s Friday evening.
11. Because it’s Saturday evening.
12. Because it’s Sunday evening.
I am not thinking about work tomorrow. I am not thinking about work tomorrow. Top us up, love. I am not thinking about work tomorrow.
13. Because of rugby.
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14. Because of football.
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15. Because of tennis.
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16. Because it’s autumn.
Ah, now this is nice. To be honest I was getting a bit sick of Pimms.
17. Because it’s morning.
9.30 Christmas day and dad’s putting alcohol in my hand? Well OK, let’s see where this goes…
18. Because it’s late.
Yep, thought so.
19. Because I’m Scottish.
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You try doing this sober.
20. Because I’m Welsh.
EMPICS Sport/EMPICS Sport
No, you try doing this sober.
21. Because I’m on a date.
Due to nerves, we appear to have finished the bottle. Get another? Oh, I like you.
22. Because I’m on a date.
Matt Cardy / Getty
You enchant me.
23. Because I have no date.
How can it be wrong when it goes so well with whatever this is I’m eating?
24. Because I’m uncomfortable expressing emotion.
25. Because I’m comfortable expressing emotion.
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26. Because I simply haven’t a care in the world, dear boy.
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27. And because everyone thinks it’s fine.
AP Photo/Charles Dharapak