It’s not what kept him from calling an ambulance when you were lying at home with a broken leg unable to get up, and it’s not what caused him to become violent toward you. Jerrad Ahrens licensed in NE and IA only. I make 2000 a month income.


The letter writer can spend some time on a fact-finding mission to figure out how to make leaving go from a near-impossibility to a maybe still-far-off but definite possibility.

I thought this would all be over by now!

He has severe depression and is not doing anything to help himself or accept help from others.

My renters insurance is 30 a month - This is reasonable. I have since gotten myself fixed so I can NEVER have another child! I am miserable and lonely. I know this thread is two years old, I hope someone is still listening.

Ask yourself what kind of relationship with your father you can imagine yourself having in light of this news.

Hopefully your lawyer and the judge will be reasonable.

On your income, if you had no other installment debt and you were trying to buy a house, a lender would allow you a car payment of no more than $160 a month. He’s in third grade, and his other friends are not like this. Had you and your ex-wife not divorced, the children would have benefited from your increase in salary. It’s not necessarily going to get her to stop right away, and that’s not really the goal (much as you might want it to be). We share an office with a hot, talented non-mom who I think he has a crush on, which makes it even worse.
You will have to find a way to stay in the good neighborhood and drive a dependable car in order to at least try keeping the kid safe when they are with you.

I’m mostly OK with my body. You can go and still love him; you can go and wish the best for him, but you absolutely need to go. I know it’s partially my fault for not accepting the apology (I told him I did at the time because what was I supposed to do?) Is there anything that can be done to ensure my children are being cared for financially? You can sign in to vote the answer. Find out what it would cost you to break your lease and move out, and if that will cost too much, then stay at your apartment until the end of your current lease, then move into something much cheaper, probably with a roommate.

You’re not abandoning someone in need, and depression isn’t what’s causing your husband’s cruelty. I don’t want you to have to feel responsible for making sure Molly develops a more realistic and less persecuted worldview, especially because you say that things are wonderful when she’s not trying to relive the past, this time as director. I believe child support is for absentee fathers, not broken relationships.

If he’s self-employed or works for his family, it can be much more difficult. Each parent should do carry their HALF of the weight. Fight or flight? I have never been pregnant and don’t ever plan to become pregnant. Alimony, at this point in time, mainly exists in the minds of sitcom writers and for the crazy rich, but this woman is in one of the situations in which it still is frequently ordered—that of a stay-at-home mom with special needs kids. At least look into changing your living arrangement once you lease is up and maybe get a 2 bedroom with a roommate. We also get the kids half the week and … Now my child is going to need some major dental work that neither parent can afford now. I don’t want my children raised like this. • Call the voicemail of the Dear Prudence podcast at 401-371-DEAR (3327) to hear your question answered on a future episode of the show. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment.
It may be that part of you already feels guilty or ashamed for having any residual feelings of tenderness or affection for your own father, and I hope you can remind yourself that loving your father is not a moral choice—you were a child when he committed those crimes, you never knew about or tried to excuse them, and contemplating having a conversation with him about those crimes is not the same thing as offering him absolution. YOU suffer before the child doesn't get the support they deserve. My apartment rent is 950 Electric is 80-90 a month My car is 455 a month My car insurance is 230 a month My renters insurance is 30 a month Gas is 200 a month Grocery's is 200 a month How can I afford to pay child support if I can barley afford to live as it is being single. I have not been ordered or been to court yet to pay hold support but I know court is coming. SSDI and non working parentI was on ssdi before my ex and I broke up. I’m the partner of a man who has two kids and pays child support to an ex (they were never married) who is remarried to someone making $200,000 a year and she has a new kid with him, but doesn’t work.

if so you shouldn't be spending more than about 800-850 on rent even without child support. Lisa Karges, Florida Resident Partner - Tampa, FL.

At what point is it OK for me to leave him? Q. You should now think of what's best for them. Join Yahoo Answers and get 100 points today. I filed for the divorce years ago with an agreement to provide 90% of the state of Texas required rate for one child. BOTH parents are responsible for paying for a child's needs. Re: Trapped in a deeply unhappy marriage: Not a lawyer, but my understanding is that the court prioritizes the well-being of the children over either parent when it comes to divvying up assets. For the past five years, I have been watching my husband waste away.

But these crimes are not yours. Here’s what to expect in the near future she will go to to the child support office and they will give her anything she wants and charge you a ungodly amount of money enough to realistically take care of 3 kids instead of one because they don’t want her running to the government for any financial help they would rather use you as a scapegoat and charge you enough to take care of her to a few of my friends have to pay it and I couldn’t believe how much was taken out of there checks way more than it takes to raise a kid it’s basically a mild form of slavery they take away your kid and will hardly give you anytime with them take a huge chunk of your check and if you can’t pay they throw you in jail because that’s what’s best for the kids for there dads to go to jail and be in poverty because of them. Ms. Miller is licensed in the state of North Carolina. Just because you have a baby with a woman, it doesn’t excuse her from securing her own financial stability for life.

The questions are common: Continue reading for the answers to the questions posed to Cordell & Cordell attorney Andrea Miller. It is simply a notion that continues because women make up the majority of custodial parents. You're driving that much? Finding a roommate brings about a whole set of new problems in itself these days. I still love him and want him to be well. Photo illustration by Slate.

Yogurt, cereal, spaghetti, macaroni and cheese—he starts out with the utensil but eventually starts eating with his fingers. If you didn't want to spend the money you should have made sure that you didn't have any children. Yes, you should help out with food and school related expenses, but jesus, $2,000 a month and she’s remarried!? I shouldn’t resent her for this.” Because of the courts ruining my fatherhood experience, I have nothing but regrets for having ever had a child in the first place. Ms. Miller also participated in UNC’s Legal Assistance Clinic whereby she helped represent indigent clients obtain legal counsel primarily in the area of domestic relations. I’m glad he apologized, but just because someone else offers you an apology doesn’t mean you have to instantly forget what they did to hurt you. Join Slate Plus to continue reading, and you’ll get unlimited access to all our work—and support Slate’s independent journalism. why do you have such an expensive car? He sexually assaulted multiple vulnerable women 20 years ago, and there’s nothing he could say that would make that fact any less true or awful.

I haven’t spoken to my mother for years and am struggling to keep a relationship with my sisters. I am in the same boat 100%. Slate is published by The Slate Group, a Graham Holdings Company. All in all there is a possibility that a judge could order you to pay more child support because you have more earning potential and can better provide for your children. Daniel Mallory Ortberg, Slate’s Dear Prudence, is co-founder of the Toast and the author of Texts From Jane Eyre and The Merry Spinster. I have younger children with my new wife and can assure you, in no “intact family” would one child receive so much financial consideration. A.

Your car payment is ridiculous.

In North Carolina, where I practice, the goal of child support is to have the children be supported as they would have been supported in an intact marriage. Find a therapist if you can afford it; talk about this with friends you trust. These all look like the result of choices YOU made.

New cars will get you to work every day and are better in the long run because of the warranty. We attend a church, and he has told a few people—mostly women—a deep tale of marital woe that spread, and now I am treated like a pariah. Sell the car, even at a loss. I have no job and no support. Most other people your age are either non-workers, criminals, or completely out of your league as far as relating to each other goes. Any more than that is too much - sell it, for what you can, and pay off any remainder, if needed to the bank.

I feel like a shit dad because i can’t afford to take them out or treat them not even be able to buy a book. I can’t live the rest of my life nervous to be around my husband.

I have no idea what to do with this information. The law requires that my partner pay her over $2,000 a month in child support! Sometimes people will follow up with, “I’m sorry, you aren’t fat!” I had a co-worker once say, “I didn’t know you were pregnant!” When I responded “I’m not,” she just laughed at me.

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