A few weeks ago, I was chatting with three of my girlfriends, and we started talking about the LSAT and how much it really sucked.

We had all taken it and had a fairly hard time performing how we hoped we would.

I opened my mouth to say, I mean, Im really smart, but that test was another animal.”

However, I stopped myself mid-sentence.

I couldnt tell this group of girls I was really smart. I would sound so full of myself.

And, God forbid I sound full of myself.

Then they’d just think Im a stuck-up b*tch.

Instead, I swallowed my words and said, Yeah, it was super hard. Im glad its over!

I didnt think much of the conversation until I was driving home later that day.

I began to think of the interaction, and I asked myself, “Why I didnt just say what I wanted to say?”

Ive said it before, so why couldnt I say it in this situation?

I realized the only people Ive ever said anything like that to are my sisters, my mom and my best friend because I knew they wouldn’t judge me.

They know Im smart, and they know I know Im smart.

I can only say self-assuring and self-confident things to those three people.

I cannot say them to people Im not super close to because then Id look like Im full of myself.

Why is this the case? Why cant women express confidence in themselves?

I am constantly told by other women to be confident.

I have to be confident in myself, I have to be confident in my abilities and I have to be confident enough to not let a man treat me badly.

If these are the things Im being told, why am I still afraid to act accordingly?

When a woman is confident, she is automatically titled a bitch.

No one wants to be called a bitch, so we make sure our actions and words never allow us to be categorized as such.

So, is this what men have to worry about?

Do they have to worry about being called a bitch when they express confidence in themselves?

It’s quite the opposite.

If a man is not confident, he is seen as weak. When a man is acting insecure, its absolutely unacceptable.

Now, I know that when a woman is insecure, it is viewed as unattractive.

We are told by men to be secure, but then immediately, we are condemned as intimidating when we are too secure.

How do we find a balance?

How am I supposed to be insecure enough to not be threatening, but secure enough to be attractive?

No but seriously, how the hell am I supposed to do that?


Ive worked my ass off to be this confident.

Ive worked through years of insecurity and self-shaming tendencies, and I have finally emerged as a woman who is confident in who she is.

I am confident in my intelligence, in my abilities, in my talents and yes, in my appearance.

Theres a big one: my appearance.

I know Im attractive, and I know I have a great body.

Ouch. What did you think when you read that last sentence?

You probably thought I was full of myself.Great.

At least, that’s what I’m thinking as I sit here writing this.

I dont blame you. That is how society has programmed us to think.

We are programmed to think that when a woman knows she is all of the above, she is cocky, and you should stay away from her because shes a what?

Oh right, shes a bitch.


I finally see why so many women battle with insecurity.

I finally see why I battled (and still battle) so much with insecurity.

Society does not allow us to be secure.

I hate to say it, but women contribute to this deep-seated issue.

When was the last time you said less than pleasant things about that one woman in your class who just really needed to shut up?

Listen, Im only saying all this because Im speaking from experience.

I was both the woman who was talked about and the woman who did the talking.

None of us are innocent, and thats okay.

But, its time to realize that the only way to change the way we are treated and the way we are perceived by our twisted society is to change the way that we treat each other.

Why would men stop putting women down, when women wont stop putting other women down?

Lets support one other, compliment one another and celebrate victories together.

Do not make other women your enemies.

We are all fighting for the same rights, and we are stronger when we fight together.

Read more: http://elitedaily.com/women/struggle-with-confidence/1351869/

1. Sam told his teammates he was gay in August, and they respected his decision to keep it a secret.

KEVIN JAIRAJ / USA TODAY SPORTS VIA REUTERS

“My teammates were very supportive. They rallied around me, and they support me even now,” said Sam, in an interview with the Columbia Tribune.

2. When the Westboro Baptist Church announced a protest at Mizzou, students organized a counter-protest with 2,614 attendees on Facebook and counting.

3. This year, Mizzou had its first gender-queer Homecoming King candidate.

Mizzou Homecoming’s Facebook Page / Via Facebook: MizzouHomecoming

Mizzou had the first homecoming in 1911. Josey Herrera made history as the first member of a sorority running for Homecoming King. Read more here.

4. Mizzou is proud to be inclusive for trans* students.

Mizzou’s news bureau made this video to promote inclusivity. MU offers trans* students medical insurance for medical care, hormone treatment, lab tests and surgical care. (Students are still pushing the university to provide gender-neutral housing and include preferred names in the campus directory.)

5. Mizzou provides benefits for same-sex partners of university employees.

Last year, the MU Board of Curators approved employee benefits for “sponsored adult dependents,” which includes same-sex couples. Read more here.

6. The current student government president identifies as gay and the current Panhellenic Association (PHA) president identifies as queer.

Mizzou also has an active Greek Allies chapter that promotes acceptance in the Greek community.

7. Mizzou has the largest Alternative Breaks program in the nation, and for the first time this year one of the service trips will focus on LGBTQ issues.

From Mizzou Alternative Breaks’ Facebook Page / Via Facebook: MizzouBreaks

The organization strives to be inclusive to everyone.

8. Mizzou has a university-funded LGBTQ resource center.

Pride Parade/MU LGBTQ Resource Center’s Facebook Page / Via Facebook: mulgbtq

The center sponsors educational events and works to create a more inclusive community on MU’s campus. Learn more here.

9. In 2003, sexual orientation was added to MU’s anti-discrimination policy.

MU Triangle Coalition’s Facebook Page / Via Facebook: MU-Triangle-Coalition

According to lesbian and gay Tigers, this resulted in a decline in reported harassment.

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/kateg56/9-ways-mizzou-stands-with-michael-sam-k5le

http://twitter.com/#!/capdc/status/506525514593751040

President Hopey McChangerson bravely addressed an adoring throng of public sector union employees on Labor Day. He was breaking some new ground by talking about “hope.”

http://twitter.com/#!/SFTovarishch/status/506525420984872960

Are you telling us Obama doesn’t show up on time?

http://twitter.com/#!/Lord_SAS/status/506526128467484672

He’s hoping THAT hard.

http://twitter.com/#!/BigDadios/status/506527896207241217
http://twitter.com/#!/RobProvince/status/506528461632991232
http://twitter.com/#!/hutchingsahn/status/506533624284319744

He’s hoping Obama would shut up already so he can change his shirt.

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2014/09/01/halfway-through-second-term-obama-tells-people-to-hope-pic/

Merrill Newman, center, walks beside his wife Lee after arriving at San Francisco International Airport on Saturday. Ben Margot/Associated Press

Updated — 10 p.m. ET

An 85-year-old Korean War veteran held by North Korea as a war criminal arrived in San Francisco on Saturday to be reunited with his family, according to reports.

“I’m delighted,” Newman said. “I’m tired, but I’m ready to be with my family.”

Asked what he would do once he got home, he said, “I think I’ll be taking my shoes off.”

Asked if he would return to North Korea, Newman said: “Probably not.”

North Korea said Saturday it had deported Merrill Newman on humanitarian grounds after he was detained in October for “hostile acts” against the state.

The country said it released him after he apologized, was “sincere” in his repentance, and because of his age and health condition. North Korea accused Newman last week of being “a criminal” involved in the killing of civilians during the 1950-53 Korean War. It released a video showing the veteran reading an apology though it was unclear if Newman’s confession was coerced.

“I am very glad to be on my way home,” Newman told reporters after arriving at the Beijing airport from Pyongyang. “And I appreciate the tolerance the DPRK government has given to me to be on my way.”

North Korean officials removed Newman from a plane on Oct. 26 while he was preparing to leave the country after a 10-day tour. The Palo Alto, Calif., man’s friends and family say he was visiting the country as a tourist.

The U.S. State Department said in a statement, “We are pleased that Mr. Merrill Newman has been allowed to depart the DPRK and re-join his family.”

During the Korean war Newman reportedly worked with South Korean guerrillas as they fought behind enemy lines.

The U.S. also called on North Korea Saturday to release another American citizen, Kenneth Bae, who is believed to be the longest serving U.S. detainee in the state since the end of the Korean War. The Christian missionary was arrested in the city of Rajin on Nov. 3, 2012.

“We call on the DPRK once again to pardon and grant [Kenneth] Bae special amnesty and immediately release him,” the State Department said.

North Korea released the following statement on Saturday.

Pyongyang, December 7 (KCNA) — As already reported, a relevant institution of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea (DPRK) detained and investigated U.S. citizen Merrill Edward Newman who entered the DPRK under the guise of a tourist to confirm the whereabouts of the spies and terrorists who had been trained and dispatched by him, an intelligence officer, during the last Korean War.

According to the investigation, Newman entered the DPRK with a wrong understanding of it and perpetrated a hostile act against it.

Taking into consideration his admittance of the act committed by him on the basis of his wrong understanding, apology made by him for it, his sincere repentance of it and his advanced age and health condition, the above-said institution deported him from the country from a humanitarian viewpoint.

Merrill Newman was seen last week reading a handwritten confession in this video released by North Korea.

youtube.com

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/passantino/american-vet-held-in-north-korea-deported

1.

That billboard glue doesn’t last forever.
Via Hungary.

2.

Daddy’s “working late.”
Photo via Australia. The billboard on the right is for WorkSafe Victoria.

3.

OUCH.
Via Ukraine.

4.

An old classic.
Moscow Messiah Cat Will Save You (money on cat food).
Billboard for kitekat brand cat food.
This placement was actually on purpose.
Paw-raise the Lord.

5.

That Selene is a ruthless bitch. All human babies must die!
On a Brooklyn subway platform.

6.

Poor Abe, can’t escape the head shot.
Both photos via Manhattan subway stations.

7.

HERE’S…COSETTE.
In Los Angeles.

8.

United Airlines subway ad right at Ground Zero.
Oops.
United Airlines flight 175 landed into the south tower of the World Trade Center. The ad was quickly pulled. A United Airlines spokesman said the airline was not aware of the ad’s placement.

9.

Billboard next to a funeral parlour in Consett, County Durham, England.
This had to be on purpose.
After protests, Clear Channel pulled the ad.

11.

In Ekaterinburg, Russia.
Rise of the Planet of the Apes…and Banking Customers.

12.

Old Times Square says ‘hi’ to New Times Square.
Perfect.

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/copyranter/12-funnyunfortunate-billboard-placements

Beijing artists Sun Yuan and Peng Yu have been known to create installations using real cadavers or human fat tissue, and though their newest creation does not include these macabre parts, it’s so realistic and unsettling that it might as well. This realistic sculpture, titled “Angel,” depicts a fallen angel in the form of an old woman, her wings devoid of feathers, that seems to be sleeping or perhaps dead. It was made from silica gel, fibreglass, stainless steel, and woven mesh.

The artist statement on their website cryptically reveals the project’s purpose: highlighting the tension and transition between the supernatural and the mundane. The angel, a transcendent being, has become powerless, unable to carry out God’s will, or to help those who believe in its existence.

According to biblical sources, Cherubim and Seraphim are the only types of angels that have wings (Exodus 25:20, Ezekiel 10, Isaiah 6). Hebrews 1:14 describes angels simply as spiritual beings; therefore, it is most correct to say that only some angels are winged.

More info:

Read more: http://www.boredpanda.com/fallen-angel-sculpture-realistic-hyper/

Paris2

People visit a makeshift memorial near the headquarters of the French satirical weekly Charlie Hebdo on January 12, 2015 in Paris in tribute to the 17 victims of a three-day killing spree by homegrown Islamists.
Image: JOEL SAGET/AFP

A cartoon of the Prophet Muhammad shedding a tear and holding a “Je Suis Charlie” sign will be featured on the cover of Charlie Hebdo‘s next issue according to French newspaper Liberation, which is helping to print the issue.

Above the cartoon, the powerful message: “All is forgiven.” The magazine is also planning to print 3 million copies.

Liberation said this issue is ready for printing and will hit newsstands on Wednesday, Jan. 14. The issue is the first for the weekly satirical magazine since two gunmen stormed Charlie Hebdo offices in Paris on Jan 7. Twelve people were killed, including two policemen, by brothers Cherif and Said Kouachi.

The new cover was drawn by Renald Luzier, also known as Luz, a French cartoonist who has been working for Charlie Hebdo for years. He told the Telegraph earlier in the week that working on the issue was helping the surviving members of staff cope with the tragedy.

“We’re getting by. We are having less nightmares. We are trying to put a magazine together and find some calm and inspiration, it’s not easy,” said Luzier. “We are down to a skeleton staff since last Wednesday as you might have noticed but we’ll try our best.”

The magazine had long been known for its controversial depictions of the Prophet Muhammad and its raw and unapologetic satirical cartoons that lambasted religion across the board.

Immediately after the attack, the staff vowed that the satirical publication would live on, and financial help has poured in to help make that a reality. The French government even pledged €1 million (about $1.2 million) to keep the magazine afloat. “Je Suis Charlie” has become a rallying cry internationally for those supporting freedom of the press in the wake of the brutal attack, so the cover comes as no surprise.

The shooting at the magazine office was just the beginning of three days of terror and uncertainty in France, after the men fled the scene of the Charlie Hebdo attack. On Jan. 10, another gunman, Amedy Coulibaly shot dead a policewoman in the Paris neighborhood of Montrouge in a linked attack.

Then on Friday, the Kouachi brothers took one person hostage before being killed in a police standoff. Simultaneously, Coulibaly was killed by police after storming a kosher market in Paris, where he killed four people and held several others hostage.

Read more: http://mashable.com/2015/01/12/the-prophet-muhammad-carrying-a-je-suis-charlie-sign-will-feature-in-magazines-next-issue/

1. Because alien jewelry is now hilarious.

2. Because tattoo choker necklaces are now hilarious.

3. Because it makes you seem really cool and insider-y if you can speak about Sassy from first-hand experience.

4. Because like clockwork, every three months Urban Outiftters brings back some ’90s trend. And because Urban Outfitters tells people what is “cool,” the world is suddenly filled with extremely annoying people in overalls.

5. Because quoting Clueless never gets old.

6. Because people are still wondering whose boy it is.

 

(via)

7. Because middle parts on boys are so universally hated now, it actually brings us all closer together.

8. Because some of us have still not recovered from the death of our Tamagotchi pet.

9. Because we all used to shop at Gap.

10. Because we are all coming around to (and accepting) the fact that the Spice Girls are deeply tied to our female identities.

11. Because all millennials now swear that their high school experience was just like My So-Called Life.

12. Because you kind of want to wear these outfits… admit it.

13. Because it is a biological imperative to dance when one hears “U Can’t Touch This.”

14. Because we are disturbed that the art of the mixtape has in fact been lost on a generation.

15. Because purple ketchup is still shocking. SHOCKING!

16. Because even though everything about this is so ugly… you’re strangely attracted to it.

17. Because our president was kind of a badass.

18. Because if you don’t like Daria you are literally the most UNCOOL person in the world oh my god what is wrong with you.

20. Because when someone re-does the credits to a current show to make it look like the intro to Full House, we FREAK OUT.

21. Because the way people danced was funny.

22. Because we want people to believe that we looked like this in the ’90s.

23. When in fact we looked more like this…

24. Because the Pacey vs. Dawson debate is still highly political.

 

25. Because it’s kind of a miracle that Ren & Stimpy was ever on the air.

26. Because fashion was actually pretty interesting and edgy in the ’90s.

27. And because it was also hilariously bad at the same time.

28. Because we can’t believe how cheesy our music was.

29. Because we were pioneers in AOL chat rooms. #suckityouths

30. Because we’re obsessed with all the ’90s nostalgia we can always see… but not actually ever bring back.

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/why-are-people-obsessed-with-the-90s

Let’s face it. Vampires were subverted by Hollywood as a way to sell more tickets. In principle, I suppose there’s nothing wrong with this. Though, in the process, everything that used to make vampires so terrifying is now lost. (Scary vampires didn’t sparkle, for one thing.)

That said, here are 10 things that modern popular vampire culture gets wrong (or just plain ignores) about everyone’s favorite bloodsucking ghouls.

1.) The life cycle of a vampire. 

According to folklore, a vampire emerges first as a soft, blurry shape with no bones. Instead of a nose, the vampire at this stage has a sharp snout for sucking blood. If the vampire is able to stay alive for 40 days, it can start to develop bones. At that point, it’s much harder to kill.

2.) Vampires can feed on the dead. 

A widespread practice during the Black Death in Europe was to bury the dead with a rock or a brick in their mouth. This was to keep the dead from feeding on other bodies if they were to come back to life.

3.) Vampires are not always aristocrats. 

Most modern vampire stories show them as sophisticated aristocrats. Yet most vampires in popular folklore were uncultured peasants. You might even call these peasant vampires dumb.

4.) You can only kill a vampire with a stake.

Another huge misconception about vampires is that they can only be killed with a stake through the heart. According to vampire folklore, this is just not the case. Folklore is ripe with stories of vampires killed purely by cremation without needing to be staked.

Other popular methods of killing vampires include (but are not limited to) boiling the head in vinegar, burying the corpse at a crossroad, bury the corpse face down, and pour boiling oil on the body. Fun times.

5.) Vampires have powers.

No, they don’t. The idea of vampires with powers (telepathy, mind control, transforming into a bat) is a Hollywood invention. There is no traditional basis for powered vampires.

6.) How you become a vampire. 

Modern vampire mythology says that you can only become a vampire though getting bitten by another vampire. Traditionally, that’s not the only way you can become a vampire. For example, you were a risk of becoming a vampire if you were an illegitimate child, were once a werewolf, or if you had red hair. 

7.) You can avoid becoming a vampire if you’re bitten.

Legend has it that if you suspect you were bitten by a vampire, you should drink the ashes of a burnt vampire. To prevent an attack altogether, you could make bread with the blood of a vampire and eat it. Yum!

8.) Things that repel vampires.

Before Christianity, there were more ways of repelling vampires. These methods included scattering seeds, salt, iron, bells, peppermint, and running water.

9.) Vampires can have children. 

Contrary to older vampire movies and according to folklore, vampires can have children. It comes from the legend that if a dead husband came back as a vampire, the first person who he would go after would be his wife.

Sometimes the result of these encounters would be vampire sex resulting in a child. These children were considered to have powers that helped them slay vampires.

10.) Sunlight.

The idea that vampires can be killed by sunlight is also a recent invention. There is no mention of sunlight having any effect on vampires, according to folklore. 

Via: Imgur

It sounds to me that the vampires from folklore are way cooler than our modern day idea of vampires. I always thought it was kind of dumb that vampires had telepathy powers. I mean, they’re immortal and kill innocents…don’t give them more powers!

Read more: http://viralnova.com/vampire-facts/

The Rachel Zoe Project has many themes, like: “fashion is life”; “materialism FTW”; “catch phrases are really important”; “L.A.’s weather is always better than New York’s”. But mostly, this is a show about love. And not just the love between Rachel and purses and caftans, and the love between Rodger and leather jewelry, but also, the love between Rachel and Rodger and now Skyler. Let’s take an in-depth look at the rules for that special kind of domesticity that blends so seamlessly with Rachel’s professional life, as seen on the latest episode.

1. Carry unusual foods in your purse.

The episode opens with a fun warm-up scene of the girls at RZ HQ giggling about something other than the fact that they have no lives because they work for RZ Inc! Ha ha! Here, they’re only chuckling over a tangential consequence to working for RZ Inc. and therefore having no lives: having to carry food in their purses because who would have time to eat otherwise? And not just an apple here, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich there — but weird foods. Food that have no business being in purses, like yogurt and pasta. How old are those foods in your purses? Who knows! But isn’t it funny? This… FOOD! Food — in a fashion office! Food — inside purses in a fashion office!!! LOLZ!!

2. “Life has to be accessorized.”

bravotv.com

So says Rachel in a meeting about the bright blue and green purses in her fashion line that you could never imagine her carrying anywhere. You know what else has to be accessorized? Husbands. Mostly if you’re husband is Rodger Zoe, because he needs to wear more accessories than Vanessa Hudgens at Coachella at all times.

3. Take your husband to AllSaints and buy him sweaters with shawl collars.

bravotv.com

During the handbag meeting, Rodger rolls in like a drunk Olsen twin, manblouse akimbo, shades down, hair in his face — with a mismatched messenger bag slung over his shoulder. Finally Rachel realizes: Rodger needs help. His poor wardrobe is crying out to her the way Anne Hathaway did in Les Mis to all the people in the world who would soon hate her. As Rachel is complaining about how Rodger just wants to spawn another child without even thinking about what it’s going to be like for them, one-track-mind Mandana goes, “I have a bigger problem with Rodger — what is he wearing?” If this were a Judd Apatow movie, this would be the time at which we’d be treated to a really funny montage of Paul Rudd playing a dufus-y store clerk and Rodger trying things on and being upset — but not! — about it. But this is Bravo, so instead it become a big publicity opportunity for AllSaints.

Rachel decides that she just needs to take Rodger to one store where he can buy everything he needs (or doesn’t — as if that man has extra space in his apartment-sized closet, please). “I have to make sure he’s on a full stomach and, like, hydrated,” she says. This is definitely true — women can’t take their straight male partners anywhere, really, unless they’re well-fed or have food in their purse. Otherwise they get upset and throw tantrums and complain about not feeling well and insist on going home before the outing has been completed. Then they’ll eat and feel better and when you go home they’ll be all like, “I guess I was just hungry.” And you’ll storm off annoyed.

Anyway, after Rachel stuffs Rodger with food — I’d guess her special baked salami — she takes him to AllSaints where they’re greeted by someone who has some connection to AllSaints. Is he the designer? CEO? Store manager? It’s unclear but he’s there because Bravo probably had a deal with AllSaints about it. Anyway, Rodger’s all, “I want brown and beige!” And Rachel whips him with a strand of her vintage Saint Laurent Rive Gauche fringe and is like, “No brown, no beige! You BEAST!” And then Rachel forces asymmetrical sweaters over his head and hits him in the face with a piece of metal encircling her wrist and Rodger’s like, “OW! You BEAST!” And Rachel goes, “At least you got hit by Hermes!” (That’s a real quote that I did not make up, fwiw.) And then either Joey or the purposeless All Saints fairy man suggests a more fitted look for Rodger, and Rachel says, “Rodger can’t wear that — it will give him manboobs.” Well, this may be one benefit to an otherwise odious fringed neckline — the fringe can hide manboobs? Did Rodger pick up anything like that? Because maybe he should.

4. To make babies, get drunk.

bravotv.com

“I’m plotting my strategy for baby number two. basically you just gotta both get drunk and things happen,” Rodger tells the camera. “Isn’t that how everyone has a kid?” I don’t know, Rachel?

5. To make babies, wear shawl collars.

bravotv.com

“Nothing makes me want to make out with my husband more than a shawl collar,” Rachel announces during that peculiar scene where she’s showing off Rodger’s new looks to their “children,” i.e., the young blond girls who sit all close together on a long table in an area of the building that’s removed from Rachel’s palatial, spacious in-office quarters, where no one has to share desks.

6. If your wife ever needs a pick-me-up, fly in the dealer.

bravotv.com

You know: the vintage dealer. Rachel and Rodger have a guy that has the hard stuff — according to Bravo and Google, apparently, his name is “William Banks-Blaney.” He’s a mysterious man, this WBB. We previously saw him in Paris when Rodger needed to find a purse to give Rachel for her birthday or whatever event it was that happened when they were in Paris, remember? He brought Rodger to a dark and shady lair run by a man wearing a violet blouse unbuttoned to his belly button? This time, Rodger meets WBB at a discreet Moroccan palace in the middle of L.A. otherwise known as the “Montage Hotel.” Something is definitely shady about this international James Bondian man of vintage. Despite having come off an 11-hour flight, he looks as though he’s just emerged from a totally non-irritating chemical peel and spray tan. He’s wearing a camel vest and matching jacket with a perfectly fluffed polka dot pocket square. Rodger and WBB order solid food, and when it arrives they lean surreptitiously over the succulent on their table and whisper about all the hard shit designers are buying from WBB. It’s all tunics and ’60s A-line things, he says, eyes darting side to side for evesdroppers.

Gossip out of the way, Rodger hides WBB in a closet in RZ Inc. HQ so he can surprise Rachel when she least expects it. “It’s like he rolls in with like a rack of couture,” Rachel says after hugging the dealer. “Who DOES that?” Its unclear if this meeting is so that Rachel can buy things for inspiration for her line OR if she just wants to do some really dirty shopping of her own. Anyway, as he’s letting Rachel try on a big-shouldered black sequin jacket, Skyler bounds into the room — wearing a *brown* onesie — and with Rodger in earshot all WBB can talk about is how much he wants Skyler’s onesie in the shade Rodger is forbidden from wearing. That was low, WBB. LOW. “Don’t get lost in couture my love,” Rachel cries to Skyler as WBB prepares to unleash his birthday present for Rachel. Yes, Skyler, don’t fall on the stash — it’s not for kids. Then WBB unzips a black garment back to reveal a long-sleeved Jean Patou dress from 1967 — the Karl Lagerfeld era — that has sparkles and large pearly growths all over it. Rachel insists she can’t possibly accept it but then takes a big snort of the sleeve and get’s so high off it she takes it anyway. Meanwhile, Skyler, wise beyond his years, sits on Mommy’s hip giving the dress a mean side eye. Me too, Skyler. Me too.

7. Make fun of your husband at all times.

bravotv.com

In the car after taping the Good Morning America hair segment — an ad for Rachel’s Dream Dry hair blow-out salon, in other words — Rodger, fussy as always, is like, “I have to take off my jacket, I’m so hot.” Rachel, deadpan, counters: “Do you have menopause?” Another LOL for RZ.

8. Tell the nanny how to style the child when you are out of town.

Rachel has to be away from Skyler for a day to do the GMA taping, but she calls her nanny back in L.A. to check in. Mid call she realizes she forgot to lay out an outfit for Skyler, and instructs the foreign nanny to put him in his Gucci toggle coat, “that’d be really cute.” (…)

9. Cook dinner for your baby every night.

bravotv.com

After the Glamour magazine boho shoot in some far-flung foggy field, where Rachel talked to a stoic dog and slapped some metal grass skirts and asymmetrical genie outfits on two girls with the proportions of walking sticks, our lady makes it home to have dinner with Skyler. This is her nightly routine and no one can take it away from her. Tonight, it’s pasta with green beans and broccoli, which Rachel makes Skyler eat so he doesn’t end up like Rodger “Manboobs” Zoe. Then Rachel sashays her mid-calf Missoni house robe over to Skyler’s play area, which comes with a white shag carpet and has more stuff in it than most studio apartments in New York City. Skyler tries to hit Rachel with a plastic shovel, but her reflexes are quick enough to ward off facial damage.

10. Take a moment to acknowledge how much you love your life.

bravotv.com

This is one thing I really appreciate about Rachel: she lives an incredibly enviable life that she’s worked incredibly hard for and even though she’s still working really hard, she stops to smell Rodger’s hair conditioner every once in a while, and reflect on how great they have it.

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/amyodell/rachel-zoes-10-rules-for-domestic-bliss