Holla!

Updates

198. DeShawn Snow, Atlanta — Season 1

Destined for greatness, or just one season as a Housewife? Bravo

197. Karent Sierra, Miami — Season 2

We get it, you’re a dentist. Bravo

196. Jo De La Rosa, OC — Season 1

He didn’t keep you, though. You and Slade broke up, Jo. Bravo

195. Lydia Schiavello, Melbourne — Season 2

Is anyone on these shows a “traditional” housewife? Bravo

194. Bethenny Frankel, NYC — Seasons 1–3

Minus points for name-checking the city. Bravo

193. Stacie Turner, D.C. — Season 1

This is basically Bethenny’s tagline. Bravo

192. Kyle Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 3

Again, Bethenny’s tagline reworked. Bravo

191. Teresa Giudice, New Jersey — Season 3

+1 for not just saying “New Jersey is my state.” Bravo

190. Porsha Stewart, Atlanta — Season 5

What’s the opposite of a humble brag? Bravo

189. Melissa Gorga, New Jersey — Season 3

Oh, just a brag. Bravo

188. Kelly Killoren Bensimon, NYC — Seasons 2–3

It would be weird if you hated living it. Bravo

187. Marysol Patton, Miami — Season 1

Subtle plug for your PR firm, Marysol. Bravo

186. NeNe Leakes, Atlanta — Season 5

Did Marysol put the spotlight on you? Bravo

185. Lea Black, Miami — Season 3

But does it really? Bravo

184. Chyka Keebaugh, Melbourne — Season 1

And probably money. Bravo

183. Kyle Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 2

You and Chyka should combine your luck forces. Bravo

182. Jacqueline Laurita, New Jersey — Season 5

#inspirational Bravo

181. Kim Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 3

We need to restrict everyone’s use of the word “journey.” Bravo

180. Janet Roach, Melbourne — Season 2

+1 for the metaphor. Bravo

179. Caroline Manzo, New Jersey — Season 4

This is a lie. You’re on the Real Housewives. Bravo

178. Kandi Burruss, Atlanta — Season 7

Again, you’re a Housewife. Drama is your job. Bravo

177. Jacqueline Laurita, New Jersey — Season 3

Is anyone not their own person? Bravo

176. Lydia Schiavello, Melbourne — Season 1

Puns! Bravo

175. Michaele Salahi, D.C. — Season 1

You’d expect a better tagline from the woman who (allegedly) crashed a White House state dinner. Bravo

174. Camille Grammer, Beverly Hills — Season 1

Kelsey Grammer did call RHOBH his “parting gift” to Camille before their divorce. Bravo

173. Jackie Gillies, Melbourne — Season 1

Camille’s tagline + two extra shines. Bravo

172. Shereé Whitfield, Atlanta — Seasons 1–2

Three words: She By Shereé. Bravo

171. Cynthia Bailey, Atlanta — Seasons 3–4

If you say so. Bravo

170. Cat Ommanney, D.C. — Season 1

Like the show, which was canceled after one season. Bravo

169. Alexis Bellino, OC — Season 7

Would we? Bravo

168. Marysol Patton, Miami — Season 2

What does this even mean? Bravo

167. Kim Zolciak-Biermann, Atlanta — Season 5

#blessed Bravo

166. Melissa Gorga, New Jersey — Season 5

Literally. Take a page from Love Italian Style: The Secrets of My Hot and Happy Marriage by Melissa Gorga. Bravo

165. Phaedra Parks, Atlanta — Seasons 3–4

And this is why Phaedra is a lawyer/mortician/fitness instructor/etiquette expert. Bravo

164. Lydia McLaughlin, OC — Season 8

So, Lydia does not believe in reincarnation. Bravo

163. Kathy Wakile, New Jersey — Season 4

This is very Sopranos. Bravo

162. Lizzie Rovsek, OC — Season 9

True. Bravo

161. Heather Dubrow, OC — Season 8

Heather DuBrow, formerly the only brunette on RHOC. Bravo

160. NeNe Leakes, Atlanta — Seasons 3–4

When you leave a room, do you sell it? Bravo

159. Alexis Bellino, OC — Season 8

Only God — and millions of Bravo viewers — can judge you. Bravo

158. Tamra Judge, OC — Season 8

Technically if you start over, you’re wiping away everything you already did… so you can’t look back. Bravo

157. Amber Marchese, New Jersey — Season 6

Except all the other women on the show who you fought with, Amber. Bravo

156. Gretchen Rossi, OC — Season 6

What does sadness mean? Bravo

155. Gretchen Rossi, OC — Season 8

Would’ve been better with “I get tougher too.” Bravo

154. Peggy Tanous, OC — Season 6

This is so anti-soccer mom. Bravo

153. Tammy Knickerbocker, OC — Season 2

“Just me. I let me drive me crazy.” Bravo

152. Tamra Barney, OC — Season 3

Bold statement. Bravo

151. Heather Thomson, NYC — Season 6

Minus points for basically stealing Aviva’s tagline. Bravo

150. Aviva Drescher, NYC — Season 5

See, Heather just reworded this. Bravo

149. Alexia Echevarria, Miami — Season 1

Surprising this didn’t end with “And I do.” Bravo

148. Kim Zolciak, Atlanta — Seasons 1–2

“And I get mine from Big Papa.” Bravo

147. Lisa Vanderpump, Beverly Hills — Season 1

We’ve reached the end of the “In [city], [x} gives you [y]” section of taglines. Bravo

146. Alex McCord, NYC — Seasons 1–3

And one of those people is Jill Zarin (see below). Bravo

145. Jill Zarin, NYC — Seasons 1–3

This is what Alex was talking about. Bravo

144. Kyle Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 1

Hollywood is fake?! Bravo

143. Kyle Richards, Beverly Hills — Season 4

This is just Kyle’s Season 1 tagline recycled. Bravo

142. Brandi Glanville, Beverly Hills — Season 4

Sounds dangerous. Bravo

141. Tammy Knickerbocker, OC — Season 3

I don’t think this is true. Bravo

140. Adrienne Maloof, Beverly Hills — Season 1

“But I have a lot of money.” Bravo

139. Yolanda Foster, Beverly Hills — Season 5

“I also have a lot of money.” Bravo

138. Tamra Judge, OC — Season 9

The immortal Tamra Judge. Bravo

137. Cynthia Bailey, Atlanta — Season 5

But hold onto beauty as long as you can! Bravo

136. Lauri Peterson, OC — Season 3

OC lifestyle = ability to spend money. Bravo

135. Melissa Gorga, New Jersey — Season 6

Solid try at reworking “forgive and forget.” Bravo

134. Gina Liano, Melbourne — Season 2

Another attempt at updating an old adage, but it really just sounds like you misp

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/bricesander/every-tagline-ever-62

http://twitter.com/#!/Matthops82/status/528560113406078977

With the midterm elections just around the corner, the White House continues to hammer at “equal pay”:

Off on another disingenuous #EqualPay rant, eh?

First, the obligatory reminders:

Here’s a logical question about Obama’s call for “policies that benefit women”:

Why not? That’s easy, if you think like Obama and the Democrats:

Ding! Ding! Ding!

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2014/11/01/another-obama-equalpay-lecture-exposed-for-what-its-really-all-about/

http://twitter.com/#!/iCASHTONARRY/status/440393830886420480

Well, actor Leonardo DiCaprio failed to take home an Oscar once again Sunday night.

http://twitter.com/#!/Callumx_/status/440395422444843008
http://twitter.com/#!/twerkingnarry/status/440383733737476096

Heh.

http://twitter.com/#!/mrbrown/status/440383495668367360

Oh dear.

DiCaprio graciously congratulated Best Actor winner Matthew McConaughey.

http://twitter.com/#!/jayceadriano/status/440361010247901184

But don’t cry for DiCaprio yet:

http://twitter.com/#!/BonzoBeckett/status/440354237021552640

Snicker.

Where is DiCaprio now?

http://twitter.com/#!/MartinCox1/status/440419303221768192

What the hell indeed!

http://twitter.com/#!/rlewisafc/status/440410380519886848

That tweet has been retweeted over 10,000 times. The photo is uncanny and has been making the rounds on Twitter.

http://twitter.com/#!/Peeglass/status/440258917138841600
http://twitter.com/#!/Dobz95/status/440148600568291328
http://twitter.com/#!/IndyArts/status/440463261562310656

Related:

Matthew McConaughey rattles Oscar crowd, wins hearts by thanking God 

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2014/03/03/what-the-hell-leonardo-dicaprio-again-oscar-snubbed-fled-to-ukraine-uncanny-twin-photo-goes-viral/

As betches and queens of passive aggression and fake emotion, a lot of times when we say something others find it hard to really understand what we mean. I thought it was time to start a Betch Dictionary for those hard to understand words and cryptic text messages we send to the mentally inept around the globe. Here are the top 25:

  • 1. It’s fine

    Definition: It's so far from okay and I'm not over it but I am indeed over this conversation.

  • 2. I don’t care

    Definition: I obviously do care and if you don't realize that soon I will unfollow you on every platform of social media.

  • 3. Kk

    Definition: Sounds good!

  • 4. Okay

    Definition: Sure.

  • 5. Kay

    Definition: (FLIRTY)

  • 6. K

    Definition: Whatever

  • 7. K.

    Definition: Fuck You.

  • 8. If you want

    Definition: I don't want you to but if you insist, whatever

  • 9. That’s craaaazy

    Definition: I didn't hear anything you said.

  • 10. Ratchet

    Definition: Someone who thinks they look like Rihanna because they bought a graphic tee and a high waisted denim diaper from Forever 21. They are never discrete about doing coke and will fuck any guy who is a 5 out of 10 and above.

  • 11. Chic

    Definition: Someone with sophistication and effortless style who knows how to correctly pronounce Yves Saint Laurent.

  • 12. Basic

    Definition: A totally vanilla girl that you can't even hate because she's so boring, you just can't associate yourself with her. The only reason she goes to Nordstrom is to shop the sale in the BP section and she wears Victoria's Secret Pink “yoga pants.”

  • 13. Omg

    Definition: I'm unphased but I'm pretending I care.

  • 14. OMG

    Definition: I'm freaking out.

  • 15. I literally can’t

    Definition: I just absolutely cannot deal with this right now whether it is the humidity on my newly straightened hair or seeing an ex on instagram with a frenemy of mine.

  • 16. lol

    Definition: I didn't laugh, I didn't even smile.

  • 17. LOL

    Definition: I smiled.

  • 18. HAHAHAHA

    Definition: I'm actually laughing.

  • 19. SWAG

    Definition: Secretly We Are Gay

  • 20. Peasant

    Definition: Someone with an iPhone 4.

  • 21. Sketch

    Definition: Someone that gives off bad vibes and does more than 3 drugs on a week night.

  • 22. Shady

    Definition: Not just applied to guys who wear hoodies in the club but girls as well who seem like they're talking shit behind our back. I mean obviously I talk shit but I don't lie about it and change my personality depending on who I'm talking to.

  • 23. I have nothing to wear

    Definition: I'm over all my clothes and feeling fat so I need to borrow something or have you feed me compliments when I put on my go-to all black ensemble and Manolos.

  • 24. She’s Ano

    Definition: I'm totally jealous of her body and ability to stop herself from eating.

  • 25. PIC

    Definition: My partner in crime, my bad betch ride or die, the one girl I can actually stand and whose good side is the opposite of mine so we take the best photos together.

Read more: http://www.betcheslovethis.com/slideshow/betch-dictionary

Altaf Qadri, File / AP

A 25-year-old woman from a village in the Indian state of Madhya Pradesh killed her alleged rapist by dousing him in kerosene and setting him on fire. The 38-year-old man, Raju Vishvakarma, had been arrested for allegedly raping the woman at knifepoint in April but was released on bail in May.

According to the rapist’s statement before his death, his victim invited him to her house to negotiate an out-of-court settlement in the rape case. When he arrived, the woman and her brothers set him on fire. He died of burn injuries after locals took him to a hospital.

The police have booked the rape victim and her family members on murder charges.

3. In the aftermath of the horrific gang rape in Mumbai, and the three year-sentence for a juvenile rapist in the brutal Delhi rape and murder, Indians supported the rape victim’s actions.

9. These are readers’ comments on the Times of India story.

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/tasneemnashrulla/rapist-in-india-burned-to-death-by-his-25-year-old-victim

You know what they say old reality TV friendships die hard. And by die hard, I mean, Old reality TV best friends seems to get pregnant at the exact same time.

and stars Lauren Conrad, Whitney Port, and Heidi Montag, have all been pregnant for what feels like literal years.

Conrad was the first to welcome her baby son, Liam, with husband William Tell early this July, and Port and Montag are on deck.

According to , infamous-villain coupleSpeidi is also expecting a baby boy this October. It also looks like Montag is finally feeling the growing pains.

In a Snapchat video posted on Monday, Montag let us all in on her baby weight-gain.

I’ve already gained 25 pounds! I mean, no big deal, right? Just three more months to go at 4 pounds a month.So I’ll only gain about 40 pounds or so, some women gain 25. I think I over-ate.

Heidi, don’t sweat it. Seriously. You’re growing another human being inside of your body. It’s actually the one time you can do whatever you want.

She also looks amazing, BTW.

Montag has been heavily documenting her pregnancy on her social media, and seems to have that baby glow we all hear so much about but seems to only exist for celebrities.

Montag told

It was in my heart to have a boy. I hope to have a little girl one day, but for my first child, I really wanted a son. I’m hoping to God that we don’t just have one, but if we do, I wanted a son. I thought it’d be a more natural bond for Spencer since he and his dad are so close.

Pratt, on the other hand, is busy spending his time on social media doing this

Yup, that sure is Spencer whispering I love you to a humming bird.

In recent video posts, Speidi visited frenemy Conrad’s hometown of Laguna Beach, where Montag was coughed on by a random lady, and Pratt continued to wear tank tops.

Yikes. Hang in there, world. Hang in there, Speidi. We hope you have a happy and healthy delivery.

Read more: http://elitedaily.com/entertainment/celebrity/heidi-montag-pregnancy-snapchat/2020063/

Dear Diary, can’t talk, gotta go, bye.

1. First of all, many of us wrote about our lives to Dear Dairy, patron saint of milk and teenage secrets.

2. Who to go to the dance with. WHY YOU GOT NO ANSWERS, DAIRY?

“One day Chris B. asked me to the dance. I might go I might not.”

3. How much you hated your mother/brother/sister/father/the whole goddamned world.

4. What day it was and how sorry you were you couldn’t write more.

“Today is Jan 1 (?) 1994. Sorrey I havf to go!!”

5. A list of all your BFFs, edited to reflect those who were dead to you.

“All my homies.”

6. Any ~scandalous~ discoveries you made, which were BIG NEWS.

Translated:
“Dear Diary today I learned my 1st curse word bitch.”
“Dear Diary bitch.”
“Dear Diary I just learned the f word it is fuck.”

7. Crucial declarations such as this:

8. Dumb poems.

“Roses are red, vilet are green, I can’t kiss you your as big as a washingmachine.”

9. And DEEP poems, or “pomes.”

“WHERES MY LOVE
She is cutting my hair,
I’m waiting on the chair
Wheres my love,
Waiting from above”

10. A list of all the celebrities you were going to bone.

11. And a list of all your dead and living pets.

“My old, dead, new & alive kitties”

12. The mysteries of life.

“After I lost my ball and I got it back the air was comeing out. No one know how the ball is losing air. But beleve me the air is not comeing out by a hole.”

13. Which teachers you liked and which you didn’t. Important for you records.

14. When a crush said THINGS (any things) to you.

“Today a boy I like talked to me even more than normal.”

15. Brief but important accounts of things gone wrong.

“Today I tried to wash the cat But it turned out to be a desaster.”

16. Your popularity status. And pens.

“It’s been over 2 months since I’ve written I got straight A’s and I’m kinda popular. I will now write in this pen.”

17. Philosophical reflections on the world’s tragedies. Or just the first thing that came to mind to take up pages and make it seem like you wrote more in your diary than you actually did.

“Why did geri want to quite [“quit”] the spice girls”

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/leonoraepstein/things-you-used-to-write-about-in-your-diary

1. Everything starts with a battleaxe.

Getty / Hulton Archive

The first Street battleaxe was Ena Sharples and she has rarely been bettered.

2. The north is better than the south.

3. Gossips might be quite annoying but how is anyone going to find anything out without them?

4. Tumblr goes crazy for lesbianism.

The tender love story between Christian teens Sophie and Sian was probably the show’s most blogged-about ever.

5. Do not have a surrogate baby for the neighbours or else this will happen to you.

Rex USA / McPix / Rex

6. But it’s okay to spend every single night in the pub and nobody will call you out on it.

Getty

7. Weatherfield has some excellent DJs.

8. But some really dreadful rappers.

9. If he’s trying to hurry you along to name the date, it likely means he’s the local arsonist.

Rex USA / McPix / Rex

10. Going upstairs to your bedroom to play tapes will take you several years.

And the process will render you a murderous psychopath.

11. Cleopatra lived in Weatherfield once.

Getty / Hulton Archive

That’s Amanda Barrie, the late Alma Halliwell-Sedgewick-Baldwin, starring in Carry On Cleo.

12. Women are generally ferocious, men generally simpering wusses.

Probably because it was conceived by Tony Warren like a gay man’s fantasy of life in backstreet Salford.

13. But these women can also be lethal toward each other.

14. And Mrs Walker would not have stood for any of this nonsense.

Rex

15. Nobody actually knows what Fat Brenda from Streetcars looks like.

But it’s probably something like this.

16. The middle classes are evil.

18. Your mother will get progressively sluttier with age.

19. Belts tell many stories.

20. Sometimes the biggest dramas can arise out of the little things in life.

 

21. And yet… nothing is ever going to be okay again.

Hayley is dying and I just can’t believe they are doing this to any of us. Any of us.

Read more: http://buzzfeed.com/danmartin/21-truths-only-a-coronation-street-fan-will-understand

Gandalf is the powerful wizard in the Lord Of The Rings stories. Dumbledore is great headmaster wizard of Hogwarts in the Harry Potter series. Which great wizard is better in the end? Actually a better question is, who would win in a rap battle? Wait, aren’t they the same person in the end?

 

Read more: http://www.viralviralvideos.com/2011/07/15/gandalf-vs-dumbledore-rap-battle/

http://twitter.com/#!/frankieboyle/status/354567862905614336

As Twitchy reported last night, President Obama’s seemingly benign Ramadan message didn’t sit well with many, particularly those outraged by reports of forced feeding of Guantanamo Bay prisoners during the Ramadan fast. Scottish comic Frankie Boyle got in on the act as well, doing the jabs that American comedians won’t do — to the delight of many of his 1.4 million followers. So much for being respected overseas.

http://twitter.com/#!/G_Mantell/status/354636888528793600
http://twitter.com/#!/HandalaChiapas/status/354691399834300416
http://twitter.com/#!/farhaanaziz/status/354703380284833792

President Obama most recently pledged to close the detention center at Guantanamo Bay in a speech April 30, but bemoaned a lack of cooperation from Congress. “I think for a lot of Americans, the notion is out of sight, out of mind, and it’s easy to demagogue the issue,” he said, before turning his laser focus elsewhere.

Here’s at least one dissenter among the ranks naming Boyle’s jab “tweet of the year.”

http://twitter.com/#!/Troy_Franklin/status/354657819489869824

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2013/07/09/scottish-comic-frankie-boyle-jabs-obama-over-ramadan-greeting/